A Reason To Change
by Evanjaleene
Summary: During the annual ball held to celebrate peace, Heero shows up to protect Relena. But despite his best efforts, Relena was hurt, and when she wakes up in the hospital, she is like a completely different person. Will the old Relena ever come back? And does
1. Chap 1: The Evening Before the Outbreak

A Reason to Change During the annual ball held to celebrate peace, Heero shows up to protect Relena. But despite his best efforts, Relena was hurt, and when she wakes up in the hospital, she is like a completely different person. Will the old Relena ever come back? And does she have a reason to? Maybe Heero can give her one...  
  
Chapter One: The Evening before the Outbreak  
  
Relena and her companion sat down to a late tea break. "Thank you," she said as the slim man across the table handed her the cream.  
  
"No prob, Miss D."  
  
Relena smiled. Alex was as informal as they came, not like the others who worked with and around her. But it was comforting rather than insulting, to be around someone who wasn't so stiff and proper.  
  
Folding the napkin over her lap, Relena watched as Alex pulled his chair closer to the table and helped himself to the food. He was Mrs. Rykoshkei's greatest cause of grief. She had gotten him to remember to pull out chairs and hold open doors for ladies, but he was by no means the "perfectly gentlemanly gentleman" she hoped for in her nephew, who was living with her because of his parent's untimely deaths.  
  
"So they stuck you with one of those dances? You know, where they blah blah at you and dance like wooden dummies?" Alex glanced up from his chicken for a second.  
  
"Yes. And what's worse than the boring conversations is the fact that almost none who goes to these things can dance at all." Relena wrinkled her nose and frowned down at her plate. Alex, however, was laughing.  
  
Brushing back his blonde-tipped hair, he sighed in mock-sadness. "Oh yes, Miss Relena, 'tis such a pity. Poor lass, you'll be lucky if you still have toes by this time tomorrow. So sad-" here he broke off laughing unashamedly.  
  
"Yeah, they'll be so stepped on I'll have to wear big flat duck shoes for my poor feet!" Relena couldn't help laughing with him as a servant came striding up in the usual stiff-legged manner. He had a message for "young master Alex", who scowled when he read it.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Seems the Young Master will have to be off to attend the reading of his great-aunt Annie's will, even though that wasn't scheduled until tomorrow. My great-uncle has to fly away on business and wants this whole mess sorted out now. Meaning, my fun is now over. Humph. Anyway," Alex smiled faintly at her, attempting to relax, "I'll see you later, Miss D."  
  
"Bye Alex thanks for stopping by." Came her warm farewell with a matching good-bye smile. He almost melted.  
  
Privately, Alex had a tad bit of a crush on her, but never said anything. 'Sure, after all,' Alex thought, 'she's only four years older than me, and the vice-foreign minister. I must seem like such a little kid to her.'  
  
Alex sighed as he left Relena's large estate, his dark green eyes dimming some. 'She'll never look at me that way. Not like him.'  
  
Anger darkened the young man's face as he stepped into his car and gunned it down the driveway.  
  
**************  
  
Watching him speed away, Relena sighed to herself. He was a relief from the usual social hu-rah she had to deal with at her meetings. But he always looked like he wanted to tell her something, something important, but just couldn't bring himself to do it.  
  
'Like, You look as pale as a ghost, or, man, you look like an exhausted zombie in need of some sun?'  
  
Relena smiled wryly at her thoughts. She left the tea and finger-foods on the delicate glass-topped table in her public garden, deciding to visit her private garden now.  
  
"I need a break. I need some sleep." She thought a moment. "I need a tan," she added to the list. She stopped and gazed up at the sky. "I need a life outside peacekeeping. This just isn't cutting it anymore," she murmured.  
  
Glancing around, Relena flung herself down on the grass and stared into the endless stretch of blue.  
  
The roses were all white in her personal garden, and were all blooming. She could see them-  
  
Relena frowned. No, she couldn't. Someone's jean-clad legs were blocking her view. Who dared bother her here? "Excuse me, but-Heero?" Relena cut herself off with a gasp. Then inwardly she cringed. Why couldn't she ever say more than his name? Why couldn't she ever manage to put together at least one decent sounding sentence in his presence? She fought a blush.  
  
Heero gazed at her coolly. He was wearing what she had dubbed "the new and improved Heero Uniform". That was, a green tank top, blue jeans, a jean jacket and brownish-black boots.  
  
"Relena." Heero nodded to her, curt as always, then put out his had to her.  
  
For a moment Relena stared at his hand blankly with no idea what he was doing. Then she realized he meant to help her up off the ground.  
  
Blushing, Relena put her hand into his and Heero effortlessly pulled her into a standing position. Then he let her go.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Relena asked, smoothing her ice-blue summer dress. 'Not that was care about impressing him or anything,' a voice in her head taunted her. 'Shut up!' she mentally ordered it.  
  
Thankfully, Heero was too busy looking around for any possible enemies to notice her arguing with herself. His voice was distant and flat when he spoke.  
  
"Quatre contacted me-"  
  
"He did?" Relena interrupted, surprised.  
  
Heero flashed her an annoyed glance-more emotion than he would usually showed right there-and Relena blushed guiltily, feeling a little stupid like a little kid at a grown-up party for some reason.  
  
"Yes he did. He told me about the ball that you are required to attend tonight to celebrate our new, peaceful world." Heero sounded almost sarcastic and he paused here, maybe waiting for a defensive remark, but Relena said nothing. She was staring at her feet and fiddling with the buttons on her cream-colored jacket, uncharacteristically fidgety. Heero continued.  
  
"I already knew about it, of course."  
  
"Of course." Relena nodded, inwardly appreciating his broader chest, muscular arms and legs, attractive-almost pretty face, and unruly hair.  
  
"Quatre thinks that this would be the perfect time for someone to attack you. The expected time, yet also unexpected with the recent crime low. He thinks it would probably be a good idea if I hung around you, to discourage anyone planning to hurt you."  
  
The sun peeked out from behind a cloud and shone down on Relena's face as she processed what Heero was saying. He would stay by her side tonight for the ball. All night long, until the ball was over.  
  
'And then he'll be gone again tomorrow, so don't get excited, princess,' the ugly voice in Relena's head rose again.  
  
"It's true..."  
  
"What's true?" Heero asked sharply. He looked...concerned? No. Relena blinked and was nothing on his face.  
  
"That...people could still want to destroy the peace we have finally achieved." 'Oh, brilliant, Princess. Bet he won't even notice that you're so desperate just to talk to him that what you're saying is entirely stupid and obvious.'  
  
Relena frowned, then noticed Heero staring at her with one eyebrow cocked.  
  
She again found herself noticing how mature his face was, how beautiful, even without expression.  
  
Heero raised both eyebrows and Relena's face turned beet red. 'He caught me staring at him!' she thought and turned away. "I'm going back to my quarters to prepare for the ball."  
  
"Fine," Heero said and walked beside her.  
  
'What is he doing?'  
  
"You're going to follow me up to my room?" Relena asked incredulously, then wished she hadn't. She had a sudden vision of her and Heero, alone in her room, kissing, maybe even...  
  
Relena shook the mental picture off.  
  
"I'm following you back to the house. I meant it when I said I'd be hanging around you all night."  
  
Again, there went Relena's mind with the her-and-Heero-kissing images when he said "all night". Relena shivered. "All night?" she repeated, feeling dread begin to creep up her spine, making her nervous, worrying she couldn't handle his being here all night with her.  
  
Heero gave her a sidelong glance as they neared the door to the Darlian Residence. He nodded tightly.  
  
Relena walked up to her room, knowing Heero watched her every step of the way, and shut the door firmly, a lesson in reality to herself as much as it was a warning to Heero not to follow her in her.  
  
"It's only five o'clock now, two and a half hours until the ball begins," Relena said to her treasured stuffed bear, a gift from Heero on her sixteenth birthday two years ago.  
  
"How will I make it through the night knowing he's going to be leaving me again tomorrow?" Relena choked back a sob of self-pity and fell against her blush-colored bed, holding her bear tightly.  
  
"He'll be with me until twelve tonight, when the ball ends. Then he'll be gone again for who knows how long," Relena whispered.  
  
Her bear had no answer to give her, lying against her on the white pillows and pale pink blankets.  
  
Relena sighed and let him go, picking herself up and heading for the bathtub.  
  
"Well, if there's nothing I can do about it, might as well stop whining." The bathroom door shut and Relena's teddy bear lay all alone on the bed, looking as sad as Relena felt.  
  
**************  
  
If only she could have known how Heero felt, more specifically how he felt about her. But he wouldn't even admit to himself he cared for her. Or that he could even feel at all...  
  
"I don't have emotions. And certainly none for her," he told himself outside her room in the hallway, trying to force himself to believe it.  
  
'Oh yes you do-o...' The Truth whispered.  
  
'Shut up. Now.'  
  
'Fine, deny it. Make yourself and her suffer.'  
  
Heero stopped his relentless pacing outside her door and wondered in his head, was Relena suffering because of him?  
  
No, she couldn't be. She was just tired. And it didn't matter to Heero if Relena did care for him anyway...did it? 


	2. Chapter Two: Let the Heartache Begin

A Reason To Change Chapter Two: Let the Heartache Begin  
  
It was a gloriously rainless night. The stars seem to shine just a little bit brighter. The air, sweeter than usual. The moon a vivid and dazzling silver.  
  
Relena came down the steps to the first floor of her home wearing a beautiful silk gown. It was a creamy butterscotch color designed to accentuate her golden-brown hair, with sleeves that fell of the shoulders to reveal her smooth neck and the flawless skin of her shoulders. The bodice was form fitting, but not scandalously so, though the deep scoop neck was a little low for Relena's taste. She was thankful that her personal maid had picked out a dress with a full- length skirt; she hadn't felt like applying tanning lotion to her legs tonight.  
  
Plucking at the short sleeves, Relena carefully made her way down the white-marble steps in her new heels and hoped her feet wouldn't be falling off by the end of the night.  
  
"Your gloves, madam," said the new butler Henry. Relena had employed the Frenchman after the death of faithful servant and family friend Pagan, who had passed away in his sleep six months ago. Blinking back sudden tears, Relena accepted the silky white gloves that went up to her elbow and murmured her thank you.  
  
"Ready?" Heero's voice startled Relena, who had forgotten him, and she jumped, catching her toe on the velvet carpet and falling.  
  
"Oh!" Relena gasped, but her trip to meeting the floor face-first was brought to an abrupt end by the perfect soldier's perfect reflexes. Blinking rapidly, she opened her aquamarine eyes to find herself looking at a stretch of black and white-Heero's shirt and formal tux- as Henry exclaimed loudly somewhere behind her.  
  
Heero straightened her up and she got a better look at him-he looked good! -but he was frowning slightly under his still wild chocolate brown bangs.  
  
"Uh...mm, th-thank you," she stammered.  
  
"No problem," Heero said and walked past her towards the door.  
  
For the zillionth time that evening it seemed, Relena felt her face burn because of Heero or something he did as she reassured Henry she was fine and grabbed her purse. But this time she wasn't embarrassed, she was angry. He didn't have to be so impersonal and rude.  
  
'And to think you're in love with him,' the Little Voice said. Relena ignored it and stalked out to her limo where Heero held the door open and then climbed in himself without a word to her. He sat staring straight ahead as if he was enduring a nightmare, which made Relena even madder. Was her company that bad?  
  
Fuming, she told herself that this was the only was she should feel about him-angry. He was cold and uncaring and a jerk and-and-  
  
Had her heart in his hand. She couldn't stay angry with him for acting the way he had been raised to. All she could think of as she sat in silence was how much she loved him because of who he was underneath that stony shell and wished that he loved her too. Or at least would be her friend, if nothing else. She had so few she could really trust. None she'd been through war with from beginning to end like she had with Heero.  
  
'And we're back to being hopeless,' the Little Voice said as Relena smoothed the skirt of her dress and spared a quick longing glance at him. He has his usual unreadable expression.  
  
****************  
  
'Does she wish I wasn't here?' Heero wondered. He didn't think so, even though she was being unusually quiet. She had always welcomed his presence before. Maybe something was wrong. Maybe he should ask-but then she'd know he cared and it already took all of his willpower not to reach out and touch her or smile gently at her. He couldn't risk it; he could lose control and end up hurting her. He didn't want that, ever. So he decided to take the perfect soldier's advice and just stay as far away from her as he could.  
  
'It's really helping too,' Truth said sarcastically, 'See? You never once acted like the human you want to be in this whole two and a half-hours so far in her presence. How nice. A real step forward.'  
  
'Shut up!' he screamed in his own mind. 'I don't want to hurt her! What if I start to love her and I can't take it and go crazy? I'll end up leaving and she'll be heartbroken.'  
  
'You mean like she is now?'  
  
Heero's fist clenched at his side and he fought to maintain his blank expression. He wanted to clutch his head and scream, but not in front of Relena.  
  
'Maybe you should let her heal you.' The voice in his head he privately called The Truth was being gentle now. 'She wants to, and you want her to.'  
  
Heero stared at Relena's reflection in the window. You could hardly see the glass separating him from the rest of the world right now, but it was there.  
  
Just like the invisible wall he had set up between him and Relena to protect his heart.  
  
****************  
  
Alex Grahandi waited patiently for the vice-foreign minister to arrive and brighten his evening.  
  
He had gone to the will reading and found he was to inherit Annie's huge house, the twenty-nine acres it was on, and two beautiful thoroughbred racers; one a chestnut filly and the other a bay stallion, both doing extremely well at the tracks. Not that he knew much about horses. He wondered if Relena did.  
  
But Alex wasn't thinking of his inheritance, he was thinking of the slim beauty that had occupied his thoughts all day, and how he wanted to sweep her into his arms for a dance the first chance he got.  
  
Of course, being of royal blood, Alex had attended these sorts of balls and parties since he was a boy of ten, trying to remember his manners. But it was only in the last two years that he had actually begun to enjoy them-that was when Relena had begun to attend them.  
  
Naturally, all the older politicians would get a dance with "Miss Relena" first, but that didn't Alex wouldn't have his chance. He would make sure that he did--Perfect Soldier being there or not. Relena would surely see him here tonight and notice he was not the gangly fourteen year-old she had first met.  
  
And then he saw her. 


	3. Chapter Three: It All Falls Apart

A Reason To Change Chapter Three: It All Falls Apart  
  
"'Evening, Miss Relena," a guard tipped his hat to her and she smiled personably at him as she passes.  
  
"Oh, Miss Relena, there you are!" exclaimed Gabriella St. Clair. She was the wife of a fellow politician of Relena's who agreed with her no- weapons, no-war theory. "How are you, darling?"  
  
"Oh, fine, Gabriella. You?"  
  
"Well," the brunette laughed, "I could use more sleep than my toddler allows. He's so adorable, though. Looks just like his father." Gabriella smiled fondly and Relena smiled warmly back as an older man who'd been on the council for years asked her to dance.  
  
"I'd be delighted to, Mr. Arbenworth," she lied as the fumbling politician-on opposite sides with Relena on the complete and total universal disarmament-grasped her just a little too tightly and swept her out into the sea of dancers.  
  
'Allen Arbenworth. Huh, his initials are AA. I know! How 'bout we call him Asshole Anonymous!' the little voice quipped, but Relena shoved it down into the back of her mind and plastered on a smile, wondering where her tall, dark and brooding bodyguard was.  
  
She had gone through three more dances with ancient men of questioning morals and when she finally saw another friendly face.  
  
"Alex!"  
  
****************  
  
Heero stalked the social butterfly through the room, grimacing at the senile old fools who apparently hoped they could charm Relena into getting cozy with them in the three to five minutes their turn with her lasted.  
  
"Ridiculous fools, she'll never go for them, and if they lay a hand on her, I'll-' Heero cut himself off mid-threat and took a second to think about what he was saying, er, thinking.  
  
'Nothing,' he finished sternly. 'I'll do nothing. Because I don't care about her and she can defend herself anyway.'  
  
'And here I thought we were making so much progress,' The Truth sighed. Heero ignored it as he usually did and went back to his Relena- watching, freezing with interest and something like jealousy as another man asked her for a dance-a young and charismatic man.  
  
Relena accepted with an enthusiasm that made Heero suspicious and rather annoyed. Just who was this blonde hotshot holding her by the waist?  
  
****************  
  
Alex smiled charmingly at his beautiful, suddenly vivacious companion. "I must say, Rel, that dress is stunning on you," he said, using the other nick-name he had given her. Relena laughed and seemed to get fully into the moment, forgetting the troubled that had occupied her mind earlier.  
  
"And you're looking exceptionally handsome yourself, Alex." Her saucy, almost flirtatious smile made him itch to lean in and kiss her, but one, they weren't alone, and two, he didn't think Relena meant to give him the impressions she felt anything other than happiness to see another person closer to her age-and one she knew.  
  
"Tell me," he said instead, continuing the playful theme of their dialogue, "do you always go about enchanting men and stealing their hearts? Or is it just something that can't be helped?"  
  
"Well," Relena pretended to think, "usually it's an accident-I can't help it that I'm beautiful! Except," her eyes twinkled merrily, "when I really like the guy I'm enchanting." Her lips turned up in an alluring and somehow innocently seductive smile.  
  
Alex felt his breath catch in his throat. Leaning closer, he dipped his head towards hers with every intention of kissing her-everyone else there be damned!-when-  
  
BLAM-BLAM-BLAM! Armed men burst into the room.  
  
"Where's Queen Relena?" one man cocked his gun, grinning maliciously.  
  
The Perfect Soldier was nowhere in sight. 


	4. Chapter Four: Still In Harm's Way

A Reason To Change Chapter Four: Still In Harm's Way  
  
Heero gave a little grunt of relief as he finally, after a whole day, was able to go to the bathroom. He'd hated to leave Relena, but did so against his better judgement for one simple reason: he really had to go.  
  
But as he exited the men's room, his soldier's intuition told him something was wrong. Deadly wrong.  
  
He quickly strolled over in a fast-paced but silent movement towards the ballroom. Once he had the expansive chamber in his sights, his face went cold and pale and he clenced his fists at his sides in mute horror.  
  
An armed man pointed a gun at the aloof, dignified Vice-Foreign Minister, brandishing it at the blonde haired man at her side when he moved to go in front of her.  
  
'Not like that'll really save her,' The Truth said anxiously in the back of his head. 'And if she gets killed, the whole universe is back to chaos. Not to mention you'll never even try to come out of your "Perfect Soldier" shell again.'  
  
Heero ignored It and searched the room. Two men a little ways behind the one before Relena. Four at the main entrance way, two on each side of the indoor balconies and railways. Likely more outside--and inside--as well that Heero couldn't immediately see. The guards probably already dealt with. Perhaps...no, it was most likely Heero was the only gundam pilot around. He was really on his own here.  
  
'Damn. I may never go to the bathroom again,' he thought.  
  
*********************  
  
Relena glared at the man, who was fingering his gun like it was a fascinating new toy he couldn't wait to try out. On her. Or Alex. Or just about anyone who blinked.  
  
'Oh man. What away to die,' said the little voice. 'And never having been kissed by the one man you love. This has all been in vain. You've waited and waited. And now you're going to die.'  
  
'Stop it!' Relena yelled at herself while maintaining a frosty air of dislike towards the man in front of her. 'I refuse to think that way. My life's work hasn't been in vain, and I am not going to die. Heero will come...'  
  
"Well, Miss Relena," said the dark haired man, who was dressed in black uniform pants and a dark green long-sleeved vest over a white shirt. Relena interrupted him.  
  
"Who sent you? What do you want?"  
  
Alex moved to get in front of her, to protect her, but she shook her head at him as the man waved the gun threateningly.  
  
"My name is Eric Brantsforth. You may have heard of my father, Davon Brantsforth. Of course, he liked to go by his mother's last name. He was well known as Davon Crossfier."  
  
Relena's eyes widened. Davon Crossfier was the leader of a group connected with the Paiton Operation. He was first-hand man to Paiton Geary, who was making millions on the black market with all sorts of armaments and weaponry--and even a few mobile suits. The Preventors had shut him and his men down and locked him away for life when he had not only supplied artillery to the terrorists who'd attacked Relena two years ago, but was found to be planning his own attempt of her life. Afterall, he now had to make his living illegally.  
  
"I see you know full well who I am talking about. You gave the order. You had him locked away for life...! Well, I won't waste anymore time in killing you--"  
  
"Aaarg!" one of the men on the balcony cried suddenly and fell over the rail.plummeting thirty feet to the ground, landing with a sickening crunch of his bones. People screamed and leapt away.and his partners barely had time to wonder what had hapened when they began to gasp and slump over in pain themselves. Eric grabbed Relena's arm, shoving Alex back, and jerked around to scan the area. His eyes widened and he leapt sideways, almost tripping over Relena as a bullet flew past him--an accidental shot from own of his own dying men--and ricochet off the floor in a black-gray blur. He put his gun to Relena's head. "Heero Yuy! Shoulda known you'd be here! Of course, when you didn't detect us coming in, I figured you'd either lost your touch or didn't care about your precious princess."  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Relena thought she saw...but it wouldn't be...wasn't he on his honeymoon...?  
  
*****************  
  
Trowa gracefully flipped throw the air and before Eric had time to shoot him--though he did turn and aim--slammed into the man feet-first. Heero mentally applauded, gratefull his friends were here, even if it annoyed him they hadn't told him. No, they had to put all the pressure of guarding Relena--being right by her side all day and night long--all on him. One would think it was a damn conspiracy.  
  
Duo took aim on his left and took care of the remaining soldiers as Quatre radioed in to the earpiece Heero was wearing that he'd found the mostly knocked out--but some dead--guards. "I doubt they even had time to feel their death before they were gone," he said.  
  
Heero nodded though Quatre couldn't see him, leapt from the shadows of his positions on a ledge and dropped to the ground, landing on both feet, leaning a little forward as was his custom to avoid being seen.  
  
He advanced on Eric as Trowa pinned him down with on foot on his neck and Relena edged towards him. "You didn't plan well enough. Or bring enough men."  
  
Eric wheezed at him, choking. "No one's seen you for years. Not even last time Queen Relena was attacked." It was true. He'd managed to stay out of sight last time he saved her. "And the...other pilots haven't been seen anywhere near Relena...*cough* in some time."  
  
Heero looked down at him with no expression whatsoever on his face. "I'm sick of you trying to kill her," he said in a flat tone. He raised the small but effective gun in his hand, Trowa backed away a bit, and he shot Eric pointblank.  
  
More screams. Even Relena covered her mouth in shock and breathed out, "Heero..."  
  
"What do you want from me?" he asked so quietly only she--and Trowa--could hear. "For me to be merciful so they can come back and try it again? So they can hurt others?"  
  
Relena didn't answer and Heero turned away, just as Quatre began to yell frantically in his ear. "Heero! Get them out, get them out, there's a bomb!"  
  
"What!" he yelled, startling Relena, who didn't know who he was talking to.  
  
"I guess he wanted to make sure Relena payed for--"  
  
Heero stopped listening, ran back to Relena, and grabbed her by the waist, throwing her over his shoulder. "Get them out!" he yelled to Trowa and Duo, who knew there could be only one reason for his abrupt actions. They began to herd people out the safe exits, the closest ones, even though that sometimes was past dead soldiers and guards, and Quatre counted down as he too exited the builing somewhere ahead of Heero.  
  
"...Two...One!"  
  
FWAUSHT!  
  
Air was sucked in towards the building then exploded out in a deafening roar. Heero ran as fast as his legs could go and Relena gripped at the back of his shirt. Heero could feel the heat and small bits of builing flying around him even from the distance he was at.  
  
"Heeero--ugh..."  
  
Heero threw Relena forward in the red-orange blaze and saw he forehead was cut from a piece of wreckage that had come flying at her. Damn! Why hadn't he carried her in a more protective manner?  
  
"Relena!" he cried, shaking her, horrified after all this she had still gotten hurt. "Relena, Relena!"  
  
****************  
  
"Re...lena...lena...!"  
  
Relena heard Heero's voice at a distance, still thinking about the bit of debris that had flown toward her in slow motion, but fast enough that she barely had time to call out. It had hurt a little, when it hit her, but now she couldn't really feel the pain.  
  
Heero laid her down on the grass, amongst the leaves and rubble, and was calling to her. But for once Relena really didn't feel like answering. She liked where she was. Floating... 


	5. Chapter Five: She Awakens

Chapter Five She Awakens  
  
*Thanks for the reviews, people, they've been really encouraging!*  
  
Heero sat miserably in the waiting room at the hospital--checked out of course, to be sure it wasn't terrorist-infested. Not that it mattered now. And it seemed even the Perfect Soldier, most feared man in the universe, couldn't persuade the doctor to let him in early.  
  
"I don't think so, Mr.Yuy, you'll go in when I say you can," said Doctor Morson very firmly, a most formidable woman, if The Truth did say so itself. Heero had to agree, though he wondered when The Truth had become almost a second person in his head. It was more than a mere conscience or nagging sense of uncertanty. It was the blatant, truthful, outspoken half of himself who's first priority was looking out for Heero Yuy the person, rather than Heero Yuy the soldier. And of course to keep track of Heero Yuy the person's progress with Relena, normal human being, not the savior of the human race and bringer of peace, as Soldier Heero wanted to categorize her to justify his fear of getting close.  
  
So Heero had gritted his teeth and sat down in an uncomfortable plastic chair without complaint.  
  
But in his head, he was raging, denying the situation, and pleading with a god he had never acknowledged before to save Relena. To undo what had happened partially out of Heero's own stupidity. But so far, nothing had happened. Or God was just taking his sweet time with it. But Relena was in a coma, possibly a self-induced one of shock, pain, and weariness. And Heero was asking for a miracle. He could afford to be patient.  
  
'And so we shall be,' The Truth said, comfortingly.  
  
Heero didn't say or think anything back to his second self, but he felt glad that, even if It was a dellusion, he wasn't alone in here.  
  
********************  
  
It had been weeks. Or years. What did it matter? Time had no meaning to her. She floated about in a hazy black mist, every now and then coming back to a dim place where she could better hear colorful voices discussing somebody. It was amusing. She wondered who the person was. She knew herself, though she did not know how, or what her name was. But she knew she was a girl. Pretty. She liked where she was...she was smart, but tired. Who was she...?  
  
"...Talk to her, see if she responds...person close to victims help...regain consciousness..."  
  
"I wasn't, um...closest to her..."  
  
"Nevertheless, you are the closest person to her now..."  
  
Funny. By coming closer to the light, the blackness faded to gray, and she could hear better. But she didn't come any closer, scared she wouldn't be able to retreat back to her safe haven of darkness. Her place to rest. The darkness was her friend. For some reason, she knew she'd been very weary back in that place of light. She wasn't sure she wanted to go back. But she wanted to listen.  
  
"...Na...Don't know...can hear me, but...miss you...and I...oh, damn...you back! Please, please come back to me...na!"  
  
Fascinated, she drifted closer, some place,some part of her, aching for this voice, beacuse of its pain, wondering who it was talking to. Who was "Na?" Was she not hearing part of the name?  
  
"...Know I haven't been there always, but I will be from now on, I swear, if you only come back to me..."  
  
The light grew. She was horrified. She was being sucked into the light! What was that voice saying?  
  
"...I love you, Relena..."  
  
Her heart constricted painfully and suddenly she knew, she knew! Relena! She was Relena! Not some nameless spirit bound to drift about in the gloom forever! She was a person, and she was trapped in this darkness, trapped, and couldn't get out! It wasn't her friend, it was her enemy, keeping her away from her life! How could she not have known that? How could she have thought it was comforting?  
  
'Help me...please...Heero...'  
  
"He...o..."  
  
"Relena? Relena! Please, wake up Relena!"  
  
The light grew, and she reached desperately for it. She knew who she was, and she was going back.  
  
********************  
  
After a long struggle, Relena Darlian opened her eyes to the light. Heero watched as her pupils dialated, then grew small again, unaccustomed to the brightness. Watched her mouth open soundlessly. She turned her head but didn't seem to see him. Indeed, her pupils were so small, collecting so little light, he wondered if she could see at all. Maybe it was all gray to her...  
  
"Relena?" he said gently.  
  
She turned her head to him...and began to scream. 


	6. Chapter Six: Not Who She Was

Chapter Six: Not Who She Was  
  
Relena finally looked at him, and her pupils returned to normal size, and Heero was so completely relieved he took her in his arms without a bit of his usual reserve.  
  
'God...thanks you.'  
  
"I couldn't see," she said into his chest. "I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see. I though I'd gone somewhere else, and was lost again." She pulled back a little and gave him a wobbly smile. "But you're here."  
  
"And so are you, back here with me," Heero said softly, craddling her to him again. He swore from that moment on to be a new man. Not to lose any of his old skills, or neglect training, but from now on he was going to try his damn hardest to become a real man. One who loved and cared for people, and wasn't afraid to show it. One who could spend his lifetime with Relena.  
  
'Now that's progress,' said The Truth.  
  
******************  
  
Relena smiled at Heero as he left to get her doctor. As soon as he was gone the smile turned into a frown. Not that she was sorry to be with him again, but knowing who she was had reminded her of what she did. Everyday, for other, undeserving people of space and planet earth. What people would expect her to do again. Damn.  
  
Well, no way in hell was she gonna do that again. Peace ran amuck. Why should she spend any more time living for others? It was time to live for herself.  
  
So she smiled charmingly at her doctor, at her brother and Noin, and the G- pilots when they arrived to greet her. Quatre, whom she remembered she'd been closest to, gave her a kiss on the cheek and she hugged him briefly.  
  
"...And when you get back to your duties," Zechs was saying.  
  
Uh oh. "Brother...I've just barely recovered and you want me to go back to work? To exhaust myself again, or worse, put myself in danger when I'm not even well yet?" she asked him, narrow eyed, implying he wanted to work her to death and didn't care for her health, and wondering if he caught that.  
  
Zechs looked startled. "No, Relena, I just thought you'd like to get back to your work, it was always so important to you--"  
  
"I think I'd better not," she said, feigning sudden tiredness. "I don't want to faint in front of an audience during a speech." She'd milk this for all it was worth, and party behind their backs. With a new crowd. Cooler people. That's right, Relena was out to work the town. No, the whole flippin' universe!  
  
"Of course," Heero said comfortingly. She smiled sweetly up at him, and she could see him soften. They all could. But they couldn't see behind her eyes.  
  
Make way for the new and improved Relena! They wouldn't approve...for safety reasons, or because it wasn't proper of her to be wild, or have fun, or be anything different than what they needed and expected her to be.  
  
Fine then. She'd just have change behind their backs...until the day came when she defied them all and their ideas of her openly. Especially Zechs. She didn't know why, but she especially wanted to shock him. And it wouldn't be hard. Diplomacy. A word that meant lies, hidden truths, mind games, wanting to win and being subtle. She was good at that. And she'd enjoy coming "out of the closet" with her new personality.  
  
Relena smiled again, pleased with her plan, and Heero smiled back, thinking about how wonderful it was going to be now that he had finally allowed himself to be in love with Relena. Relena, sweet and patient and wonderful. Relena, who didn't change on him, but was as constant as the sun. They'd be together forever, happy, as Heero had always wished to be... 


	7. Chapter Seven: Suspicious Behavior

*Lady Lydia, I'm not sure how long I'll make this story. I guess it will be as long as it is. Sometimes the parts will go slow, sometimes they'll go fast like snap snap snap! When I feel like it's time to end it, I will, but even I'm not sure if that will be three chapters from now or ten, and I'm the author! Oh, and sorry if this chapter doesn't have a lot of action, the next chapter will have more.*  
  
Chapter Seven: Suspicious Behavior  
  
Relena waved off her brother and Noin, insisting she was tired and wanted to rest. Naturally they were concerned, after all, she'd just gotten out of the hospital, but she told them she was just fatigued from the long ride home. They got the hint and left her alone.  
  
Heero didn't.  
  
He stayed right by her side as she washed her face, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and even as she began to pull out her nightgown. She raised an eyebrow; apparently he thought that since they were to be together from now on he automaticaly got to see her naked. She shut the bathroom door.  
  
When she came out he was waiting for her, and suddenly Relena thought back on her previous mentality. 'If only Heero would spend a little more time with her. If only he'd stick around...'  
  
But now that he was there, just sitting there, apparently waiting for her to throw herself at him, she found the situation a little...annoying.  
  
"Heero, I'm going to sleep now," she said, with a perfect immation of sleepiness. Her brooding boyfriend only nodded, and she realized he was planning on sleeping in the same room with her. Never having gotten anywhere near this far with any guy, he maidenly modesty dissaproved, and she protested.  
  
"Heero, this just isn't right. We can't sleep in the same room, the same bed, when we haven't even been out on a single date before!"  
  
Heero looked at her strangely, as if two people who'd been through war together didn't go out on dates, but finally nodded.  
  
"Fine then, I'm sleeping in the room next to yours. Uh," he added, looking awkward, "do you...want to go out on a date?"  
  
Relena blinked, thought a speedy moment, and nodded, smiling. Sure, why not? It could be fun. Maybe they could both loosen up at the same time. With Heero on her side, her brother would be less likely to openly protest against her changed behavior.  
  
"Okay," he said, nodding, then left. They'd talk more tomorrow.  
  
Relena had to wait for two hours before Heero fell into an exhausted slumber, and she knew she wouldn't get this chance often; he was only so tired from watching over her. So she decided to make the most of it.  
  
She knew her security system. She'd been informed about every little detail of it. Normally that wouldn't have been the case but Relena had insisted on knowing what was what and who was supposed to be on duty when to elliminate her chances of being caught unaware by enemies, trapped by her own ignorance.  
  
She gathered a few items in a purse, snuck out her window and climbed down to the ground--not easy after being immobile for so long, but she wasn't as tired as she'd claimed--pausing at the right moments, dodging lights and guards. She was careful but confident she'd go unnoticed; so confident she didn't even she the person she should have been most wary of gazing at her through a window, three stories above.  
  
*********************  
  
Heero tossed and turned, twisted and struggled amongst the bed sheets like they were vines. He was so tired he couldn't sleep. For a while he'd had a quiet period when his body didn't want to move. But as his ever-alert mind continued racing he became hyped up. Every little sound was to be investigated. Every shadow a devious enemy. And he wanted to check up on Relena again.  
  
Finally he got up and paced the room, silent as a panther--no even quieter-- wanting to be rid of this nervous energy that had come up. He'd probably never let down his guard again; he'd only agreed to sleep next door to Relena and not in the same room because he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable on top of everything else--  
  
*tick scratch slide*  
  
Heero paused in his pacing. Climbing. Outside. But...climbing down? My God, had someone already killed Relena while Heero was thinking and stalking around in circles, and he hadn't even heard them?!  
  
He went to the window, searching, remaining hidden in shadow. What he saw made him think his eyes deceived him.  
  
A muted light from shiny blonde-brown hair. Pale skin, deft black boots sliding down, past the guards, freezing at just the right moments. A girl, leaving from the room next door.  
  
Relena.  
  
Uncertain, disbelieving, Heero stood there watching her go.  
  
What in the world was the ever reasonable, no-nonsense, supposedly tired vice-foreign minister doing climbing out from her three story bedroom window?! 


	8. Chapter Eight: Following Relena

Hey guys! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a really long time. But a lot of things contributed to it, like multiple computer viruses and personal matters I'd rather not discuss. I'll try not to let this go so long before updating again. Thanks for all the reviews!  
  
Chapter Eight: Following Relena  
  
Heero watched his girlfriend slide down the roof and run off into the night. Then Perfect Soldier mode clicked in and he was off after her. What in the world was she doing?!  
  
Behind her in dark alleys, shadowed back roads and to the door of a night club pounding with music, the bass pulsing in time with his heartbeat. She smiled saucily at the bouncer, leaning a bit so that her hair fell prettily over her face and her lithe glittery-pink lycra dress-clad from was visible through her parted duster. She got in without cover pay or and ID check.  
  
So much for a reformed society.  
  
Heero went around the back quickly, hopping a chain fence and sliding in like a shadow. He was near-invisible in the dark room lit only by neon rave lights, which he appreciated. He followed her as she went straight to the center of the dance floor, rolling her hips to and fro like a nymph and moving her hands suggestively in time to the music. Her hair tossed as she shook her head and soon a guy was dancing with her, a hand loosely on her waist. She laughed.  
  
Jealousy rose up like an ignited flame in him and he wanted to break the guy's neck, but soon Relena pushed off and was dancing with someone else.  
  
The night went by with her never ending moves. Once a small white cylinder was offered to her--not a cigarette as he first thought--and she considered, but then shook her head. He let out breath he didn't know he was holding.  
  
At three-thirty in the morning she was tired and headed towards the door. A man followed her, making motions with his hands and speaking urgently to her, but she shook her head and pushed him away.  
  
Heero followed Relena back to the house, making sure no other would-be suitor came calling behind her, and that she didn't slip climbing back up the roof, then jumped up to get to his own room. He made it up and to her room before she did, and waited in the shadows.  
  
Relena ran a hand through her hair and he shut his eyes as she changed, opening them again as she sat down on her bed, partway covered by the blanket.  
  
"Busy night?" he asked quietly.  
  
Relena jumped half a foot in the air and almost fell out of bed but grabbed the post. "Heero! Did you follow me?" she demanded.  
  
Suddenly he was angry. "Of course I did!" he said in a fierce whisper. "Did you think I wouldn't see you, that I would let you go alone into--some place like that?"  
  
He paced the room, then went over to her, kneeling by her feet. "Why would you lie, and go to a run-down place like that? For kicks? That's not like you."  
  
Relena got up and walked a ways away from him. "Not like me, not like me. What do you know? Does anyone really know me for me, and not as Relena, ex- Queen of the World? Do they? Do they, Heero?"  
  
"I know, you, Relena. But I don't--understand you. Anymore. Why did you lie?"  
  
She turned her head in the gloom of the dusky bedroom. "I would never have been allowed to go if I'd mentioned it--as if I wasn't a grown woman able to make her own choices!" she said, her voice rising them falling back to a whisper with her next words. "Heero, I will never want anyone but you, but I *do* want to be--free, I guess. Allowed to be other than that perfect girl."  
  
"Relena--"  
  
"Oh, Heero!" Tears in her eyes, she fell on him, sobbing.  
  
Heero held her, breathing in the scent of her hair and feeling a part of him understand the need to be human, not perfect. He heard the Perfect Soldier scream he was taken in for a fool, but he closed it off. 'No place for you here, Soldier.'  
  
"Relena, I understand. Really, I do. If you want to go to places like that, or wherever, that's okay. But--please tell me, so I won't worry. And take a friend."  
  
Sniffling, she raised her head and smiled weakly. "All right."  
  
He smiled at her, warmed by her humanness, the same humanity that had saved him weakened her to an imperfect being, but what was being human, if it was not to be imperfect? They were made in God's image, but not as He was Himself. Of course.  
  
He gathered her in his arms for an even tighter hug, and she smiled wickedly into his shirt.  
  
'Gotcha.' 


	9. Chapter Nine: Lies

Well, another chapter is here! Hopefully it is better than the last one. Well, please review! Maeko, you're so cool. ^__^  
  
Chapter Nine: Lies   
  
Relena played it cool for a while, to make sure Heero didn't suspect her. The Little Voice was complaining to her that she was ruining what chance of happiness she had. She ignored it, and called on Alex one day while Heero was out checking some security details on the shuttle they'd be using for their vacation to Mars. It was supposed to be relaxing, since she was still supposed to be recovering. She thought it would be hopelessly boring.  
  
She shed her guard at the door and smiled at Alex's aunt, Mrs. Rykoshkei, and told her she wanted to discuss something with ehr nephew.  
  
"Oh! Please come in dear, Alex is working at the computer in his den, right up the stairs, first room on your left, yes, there you go."  
  
"Thank you," Relena murmured with a bright smile.   
  
She knocked on the door upstairs, then went in without waiting for a response. Mrs. Rykoshkei must hav edone this a lot, for Alex didn't even turn in his chair. "I'm not hungry for lunch, thank you"  
  
"Good, I'm not here to offer it," Relena said. Alex whirled and almost fell off the computer chair.  
  
"Relena! You're--why are--um, are you all right?" He stood up uncertainly, a thrill flashing across his face.  
  
'He really likes me,' she thought, grinning in her head.  
  
'Don't do it,' the Little Voice whispered.  
  
"Alex," she said silkily. "I'm going to Mars for a recovery vacation in a few days. Aren't you going there for some kind of diplomatic work to your Uncle Worth?"  
  
"Yes--"  
  
"Oh, how delightful!" Relena clapped her hands. "Why don't you take the shuttle with Heero and I?"  
  
Alex's face darkened briefly at the mention of Heero's name, and Relena knew then how much he wanted her. He hesitated, but finally nodded.  
  
"Well, I don't want to spend all of Aunt Ry's spare cash, and I'm not exactly rolling in dough myself, so...that would be a...great idea."  
  
Relena smiled.  
  
****************  
  
'Hmm. Everything looks all right.'   
  
'Well, what did you expect?" the Truth asked.   
  
'I don't know--hey, quit talking to me, you aren't real!' Heero shook his head, irritated. He took a last look at everything, then allowed the armored car to take him back to Relena's mansion.  
  
Zechs would handle everything for another two weeks while Relena took an extra rest.   
  
Heero grinned to himself. 'Time alone with her. Yes.' The Truth seem to be smiling for him.  
  
But when he got back, his hopefull little bubble was burst when Relena, coming out to greet him, babbled on about how Alex Grahandi was coming with them, cost-cutting, isn't it nice--  
  
"Wait, what?" he interrupted her, heart sinking.  
  
"Alex isn't exactly rolling in dough, you know, and if he can get his uncle on our side for the new Preventors security post on Mars, things would flow a lot easier. Come on, Heero, it's for the good of the universe." She gave him puppy-dog eyes.  
  
'Oh. But--damn.' "Sounds fine."  
  
Relena smiled. As she turned away, he thought he saw something--un-Relena-like--in her expression. But no. 'This is Relena. Come on, what she is can be seen like the page in a book. She wouldn't hide anything from *me*.' He smiled at her, and she looped her arm through his as they walked back up to the house.  
  
~End chap.~ 


	10. Chapter Ten: Alone Togetherwith Alex

Thanks for the reviews! Here is the next chapter!  
  
Chapter Ten: Alone Together...with Alex  
  
Heero hid his irritation in with a blank face, as he usually did. Bland and unnaffected, that's right.  
  
Relena laughed at something Alex said and he smiled at her.  
  
Wait. Was his hand on hers?  
  
'Ooh, this is a little worrisome,' the Truth whispered in the beack of his mind. For once, he agreed with it, and eyed the two--he would *not* think of them as a couple.  
  
Alex lifted his hand and Relena grinned, pulling back the cards she'd won.   
  
'Ah. Well, that's no big deal,' the Truth said.  
  
Alex tucked a piece of Relena's hair back behind her ears, his fingers lightly brushing her face.  
  
That *was* a big deal. Heero sat up and leaned over, pulling Relena towards him. "Don't you think we should prepare to dock now?" he said blandly. Slipping an arm around her waist. Kissing her neck and smelling her strawberry scented hair.  
  
****************  
  
Relena grinned. Heero was jealous.   
  
'And this is a good thing?' the Little Voice whined. 'He's the Perfect Soldier. Don't you think it's *not* a good idea to make him too mad?'  
  
'Oh, shut up. I just wanna have some fun.'  
  
'Fun,' the Little Voice grumbled. 'Some fun.'  
  
Relena kissed Heero. And smiled at Alex as she rose to freshen up before docking. Yes, some fun indeed.  
  
****************  
  
Alex blinked as Relena smiled at him. There was something different in her smiles now. Something mishchevious. Something...seductive.  
  
He told hiself it was wistful imagination. But he couldn't *not* notice the sudden possessive streak in Heero. The way he went out of his way to touch Relena, especially when Alex was around.  
  
'Maybe...maybe she likes me, but is afraid to say so because of Heero...'   
  
Why not? A man could dream, after all.  
  
~End chap.~  
  
Hey, sorry that's short! The next chapter will be much longer, I promise. It's just those dang should projects are eating up my time! 


	11. Note to Readers

Sorry!  
  
I've been going through a lot of personal sh*t, and it's taken up my time. I don't even have time for my homework--I've had to ask for extensions--much less any fics right now. I have updates to several of my fics but haven't been able to type them up.  
  
See, I've moved twice in three times in two weeks. Moved outta my parents' house because of, how should I put it, irreconcilable differences? Then into a friends', it didn't work out, and into another friends'. It's crazy right now. Please understand, I wanna write all my fics! Just need more time, to get settled.  
  
Thanks!  
  
~Evanjaleene 


	12. Chapter Eleven: Perfect Princess Misbeha...

Hey, all! I'm sorry I don't update this story nearly as much as I should. I'm going to try to be better. The good news is, not that my life's getting back on track, things should be easier, and I'll get to enjoy a healthy state of mind that allows me to write fics more! Anyway, to make up for my non-updating, a nice longer-than-usual part. You finally get to see into some of Relena's deeper feelings now. First a word to my latest reviewers, then on to the chapter.  
  
ForgottenChild7: Thank you! I'm trying hard not to make this a typical 'Relena-in danger-Heero-ooc-saves her' fic.   
  
Ukchana: Oh, Relena's not evil. Just wait and see.  
  
raigne: I can't tell you who she ends up with! You'll have to find out when everyone else does.  
  
Ladybug: Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm glad you like this fic!  
  
Clarobell: Sorry!!! Not trying to make you crazy. If I can find a non-ooc way to make Heero cry, I will do it just for you, k? As for Relena cheating on him in the actual sex-with-Alex way, I'm not sure what she'll do. I guess I'll know when I write it!  
  
Chapter Eleven: Perfect Princess Misbehaves/Couldn't Care Less  
  
"Lovely view," Relena commented honestly from her suite window. A huge dome encircled most of the surface while scientists were trying to figure out why greens wouldn't grow here. Sure, they'd gotten the atmosphere fixed up to their liking and water sitting in placid little rivers from man-made lakes (which were all flat at the moment; no real texture to the dome -encircled terrain yet) and the soil was acceptable. Maybe not as good as Earth's, but still *something* should grow. But nothing did.  
  
Relena was almost notably uninterested in all that, though. She didn't care if the planet's terrain and industrial problems and so on and so forth would impact Earth. She just thought the view of the stars was amazing. She didn't know why; she'd seen it before. But to her was like seeing it all for the first time  
  
She didn't even notice Heero had them sharing a room, when he knew she wasn't putting out. Oh well; in the back of her mind, she knew he was only paranoid and not trying to push the sex issue.  
  
Heero glanced up from where he was setting their bags on the beds; he didn't let anyone else handle their stuff and potentially mess with it.   
  
Relena's body was relaxed, and she seemed more at peace than she had been in a while, even after she'd declared herself recovered enough to leave the hospital. She was leaning against the window frame and looking out at the red planet surface and star-filled sky with contentment. And so he was content as well.   
  
Maybe he could still salvage this trip yet.  
  
****************  
  
Alex leaned back in his chair and placed his hands, fingers laced together, behind his head, resting his feet on the low table.  
  
Not a bad first day. A stay at a nice hotel (that he couldn't have afforded on his own) while his uncle remodeled his house for that new baby. Great food. Plenty of social opportunities.   
  
Relena.  
  
His feet came down with a thud! and he brought his hands to his lap.  
  
Relena. What was she doing? What was she trying to say?  
  
"I love/lust after you, but Heero stands in my oh-so-lovely way", or, "You're delusional, I'm just being nice, you pervert"? Imagination, or fantasy waiting to come true? Who could say? Not Alex, that was for sure. Not yet, anyway. Wait and see.  
  
****************  
  
Heero finally fell asleep. Relena, for good measure, got up and slipped into the bathroom. From there, she slipped into the adjoining room, kept clear of ("potentially dangerous") other people on Heero's request, and out into the hall to Alex's room.   
  
She typed in his room password with her finger under her robe. She didn't know why, but it mad her feel better; like nobody could get her DNA from it. Pointless, really.  
  
e padded in softly. Alex lay on top of his blankets in black cotton boxers and a midnight blue shirt. How normal. How typical-guy. How *not-Heero*.  
  
She'd never really noticed other guys. How stupid that seemed now, her old way of thinking and acting.  
  
"Hey, Alex," she purred in his ear. He stirred. She hoped he was having shamefully erotic dreams about her.  
  
'Don't do it, stop now, go back to your room, don't do it don't do it DON'T DO IT!' the Little Voice yelled menacingly.   
  
'Oh, I'm not doing anything that bad.' This was awfully tame stuff, really. Just teasing him. So what that he happened to be asleep in bed in his boxers?  
  
She reached over and stroked the side of his face, letting her hand trail down his chest.   
  
She whispered little nothings to him in his unprotected deep sleep like subliminal messages, told him she wanted him, kissed his cheeks and forehead. She laughed mockingly in his ears and dug her nails lightly into his skin.   
  
She would have loved to do this to Heero, just to screw with him, but he'd wake up and ruin it all. Besides, what was more fun to watch then a jealous boyfriend and a madly in-lust, confused young man shooting eye-daggers at each other over little old her?  
  
'Nothing, that's what,' she decided.  
  
' "Nothing" sounds great to me, let's go back the room and do just that,' the Little Voice pleaded.  
  
Alex's eyelids began to flutter. She leaned over and kissed him one last time, then slipped out back to her room. She went back to the bathroom, checked to see if the coast was clear, and slipped back into her bed, fighting giggles.  
  
What a rush! Doing things behind peoples' backs, things they'd never expect! Having two guys fight over her. Actually, it could get better: there could be more guys!  
  
'You are so obnoxious,' the Little Voice remarked tiredly.   
  
'Long time in there," Heero's deceptively soft voice remarked.  
  
Relena didn't stiffen or panic. Her political training had prepared her to react calmly to far worse surprises. She shrugged and turned over in bed. "I couldn't sleep. I…well, I'm a little worried about how things are back home."  
  
Heero's expressioned softened; yes, this was a Relena-ish thing to say.  
  
"It's only been one day, and Zechs is a capable and dependable guy (nowadays). I'm sure things are fine," he said gently, to ease her fears. She smiled wobbly. "Relena, you have to quit worrying and let yourself recover." He looked so concerned, he got out of bed and went over to hers, sitting on it. She leaned into him; she saw no reason no to.  
  
He put an arm around her, looking a little uncomfortable with the close proximity. He wasn't used to it yet, contact with another person, but he was trying. It was too bad she really didn't care anymore. She was almost ashamed-stupid Little Voice in her head, trying to make her feel shame!-but shrugged it off. She'd suffered for *lack* of comforting contact from him for years. Now it was his turn to be uncomfortable.  
  
Heero continued with soothing little words and she nodded and replied and feigned sleepiness. Eventually, she really was tired and fell into a half-sleep against him.   
  
For a moment, all seemed right, and she felt surprisingly at peace. She lay against his side, her head over his heart, and felt safe. Wondering why she did all stupid things she did.  
  
Heero's fingers brushed her arm, and he rubbed her shoulder. Human contact.  
  
Her remembered rage at him quietly resurfaced in her mind, deepened.   
  
Some people lost their memories when hit on the head. Some became vegetables. Some died.  
  
Relena lost something too. Her will to care about what others thought. Screw them!  
  
Screw everyone! Let them get their heads out of their asses and use their 'uncommon-any-more' common sense and keep their own peace for once! Let them succeed or fail; she couldn't care less about the outcome.   
  
Let Heero find out the meaning of 'too little too late'!  
  
Let Alex find out the peace princess her worshipped was no idol, but had a right to be merely human!   
  
Let them all go to hell! She didn't care anymore!  
  
'You could be so happy,' the Little Voice said sadly. 'Is this strange revenge worth it? Will you ever care again?'  
  
'I don't know…if I ever will again. I have no reason to.'  
  
~End Chap.~  
  
That didn't turn out at all the way I wanted it to, really. I had it envisioned differently in my head. Well, forgive me, I'm completely overheated and foggy-headed. Please review anyway. You did get to see a little more of what's really going on with Relena, though I'm not ready to completely spell it out yet. Oh, and I'll try to get more from Heero's pov next time. Oh, and if you like Harry Potter fics, check my bio! I'm gonna update it to include an au/after-Hogwarts fic my friend and I are writing. It's not too bad, if I say so myself. I've only posted 2 chapters, though we have more done. I'll work on it later as I update all my other stories and/or HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!! 


	13. Chapter 13

I have finally recovered the password to this account and the accompanying email! I can begin to update again (instead of having to update on the new account I created)! Are any of you still interested in seeing more of this story? I lost 'I'd Die For Her' and have to re-do that from what paper copies I can find, but you fans of 'A Reason to Change' are you still here? Let me know and I'll begin to update here again! 


	14. Ok then, updating soon!

All right! I'll get to work on a new chapter then! Your patience is appreciated. smiles 


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